First of all, I’ll like to say a huge thank you to all who helped broadcast and share the first post, those who left comments and of course, those who read! God bless you very plenty!!!
I had a conversation with a friend recently that sort of inspired this post… we were talking about friends and family and how it is such an ordeal to deal with them sometimes. So I decided to share what I learnt from it…
More often than not, people will hurt you, people will be self-centered and their desires will be placed ahead of yours, even at the expense of your feelings. It’s a sad reality of life, one we have all experienced and have been guilty of. While you’d expect that we all accept this as norm and therefore shield ourselves, we still find ourselves being terribly hurt. This is because there are people you expect a lot from, people you expect to know better. Logical reasoning proves that out of ten times you are hurt, at least eight will be a “close friend” or “family”. Mostly because, there is a certain degree of close relationship required to cause emotional pain. You see, close relationship breeds trust, which when broken produces pain.
Dealing with this can be really hard, this is because these are the people you expect to “have your back” and be there for you when you’re hurt! This is a complex situation of being hurt by the ones you thought would bare your hurt…truly complex situation. Who do you talk to at a time like this? Who can you even trust? If your close friend can do this, who’s left in the world? Who do you turn to when a good friend accuses you of stealing from her, or your mother just doesn’t seem to understand you, or you have a cheating spouse, or perhaps your father loves your siblings better than you? And of course you cannot choose to be a loner! So where do you find solace at a time like this?
Through the hurt and the pain, the issue on if to forgive or not arises… you begin to consider if you should just let it go or continue in your pain. Well, I know it will be hard but I’ll advice you to FORGIVE! I also struggle with forgiving (I’m only human!), especially when the person in question has hurt me so many times in the past! But think of it this way, if you truly are friends, there must be something that instigated the relationship in the first place, are you really ready to lose that thing? Is the person not of more value to you than the issue? If you answer any of these questions negatively, then it just means that friendship wasn’t meant to be.
Sometimes when someone upsets you, it is harder but more profitable to be the bigger person and APOLOGIZE! I can imagine you disagree with me right now but when you consider it, some relationships are not worth losing over pride. I know of people who have unstable relationships with their parents because of a minor disagreement and a huge block of pride in their hearts; and I can’t imagine how they survive! Pride comes in the middle of a beautiful thing and turns it ugly!
“SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE OCCASSIONALLY,
IT’S NOT FATTENING.” – FRANK TYGER
Even the Bible talks against pride- “PRIDE COMES BEFORE A FALL”. I don’t believe people deserve the treatment you give them but you treat them good for yourself, for personal satisfaction, just so you know you did the right thing! The way I see it, I love my family and friends and they have been with me through tough times, whatever it is that caused the disagreement is not worth it plus I’m too lazy to hate anyway! (lol).
So instead of carrying a block of anger and disappointment in your heart, forgive someone today, call up that friend and apologize! Think of the good times you had and try to patch things up! Life is truly simple, but we complicate it for ourselves with hatred, anger or pain. I know you may not agree with all I’ve said about pride, forgiveness and apologizing but that’s just my sole opinion!
Cheers! FREDA ADDO